Take a Deep Breath

I like to believe that I'm usually pretty easy going. I have high strung moments and I have high strung days, but I try to be more relaxed. And as a teacher the longer I teach the more relaxed I am about certain things, but today was one of those days that left me frustrated because I have a situation I'm not really sure how to deal with. First day all year that I feel that way. Other things went well today, but I am fighting snarkiness over a single issue. It happens. We all have those days. I just currently need to take a very deep breath so I can figure out how to best deal with the situation. A deep breath and serious prayer.

Sometimes They Hate You

I don't like to be hated. I like to be liked. I think that most people do. But when you are a teacher who is determined to get the most out of your students sometimes the end result is hate. I can be flexible and I am flexible when I believe that it is the right situation, but there are times when flexibility does more harm than good.

I feel that right now is that point. I wrote about the importance of form a couple nights ago. Right now I have students upset because I'm sticking to my word. I'm not bending. And I get it. I really do. It seems unreasonable to be so inflexible. I don't believe that they are not following directions to spite me or to ignore me. I believe they are not following directions because they don't understand the importance of doing so and I've learned over the years that when I am too forgiving they don't learn. They start to think that it really isn't as important as I say it is. I want them to learn that it is important. I want them to understand that paying attention to directions is an important part of growing into adulthood. It's about more than just getting the points on a rubric; it's about training them for a future in a much less forgiving "real world."

And I'm off to explain to yet another student why I took points off. I realize that my desire to teach life lessons will be met with irritation, anger, frustration, and in some cases hatred, but I really do believe that it is for their own good. Hopefully someday they will see it that way too.

Back To the Drawing Board

So far this year has been smooth and I can't even say that today was one of those days. But the solution to a problem that I had with a certain type of reading assignment in my AP classes did not prove to be much of a solution. It did not generate the discussion that I hoped that it would. It could have just been the subject matter. Or it could have been the way that I did it. So now it's back to the drawing board. Time to rethink how best to do it.

This is part of being a teacher. When the lesson doesn't go as planned that is ok. It just means that you need to make adjustments or try something different. That's what I need to do before next time.

Why Don't They Ask?

For help, that is.

It's a strange paradox of this generation. We complain that they are too dependent. That they need their hands held through every and any situation. We complain about helicopter parents who don't allow their children freedom and independence. But when they really need help, when the help is readily available for them and is there for the taking, they don't ask. I experienced it once again with my most recently assigned project. I had students trying to open videos on their Keynote presentations. They weren't able to do so because they hadn't inserted a hyperlink. When I asked why they hadn't done it they answered "I didn't know how." They had time in class. I was right there. It would have been a two minute tutorial. But they didn't ask.

There has to be a way to teach them that to ask is not to show weakness. To ask is to take control. To ask is to get knowledge. To ask is to gain power. Asking doesn't make them dependent. Asking will take them from dependence to independence.

I guess I have a new mini-mission. All I ask is that they ask when they need the help. I'm there for them. Most teachers are. We just need to convince them that we will give them help as willingly as we offer it.

Tough Love

My students can choose to not believe me, but I really hate giving zeros. I hate taking points off for silly, easily fixed mistakes. I hate being picky.

But it's part of my job.

It can be rough. Students come into my classroom, I have expectations, I believe I have thoroughly explained myself, and then they still don't follow directions. And those directions have specific reasons. In my English classes the little, easy to lose points are for things like form and technique. Simple things like MLA headers, double-spacing papers, putting a title at the top of the page, and most recently, labeling electronically submitted documents. The last item was my hang up today. My students just finished projects that were submitted electronically. Last year we went to all Apple products. Unlike Word, which requires the writer to label a document when he or she saves it, Pages, the Apple word processing program, does not require users to do that. A person could have 50 numbered documents that have the word "Blank" in front of the number and never label the document. That has led to students turning in the wrong documents as well as lost documents when they weren't saved properly. I'm not just trying to teach them proper form because "they are going to need it in college" (a phrase I am much more careful about using since working as a college teaching assistant for two years). I'm trying to teach them that form is about consistency and clarity for their audience. Professionals need to follow specific forms in various fields and they need to be used to following those directions. As a teacher with delusions of becoming successful with writing in my field, I need to follow a specific form when I work on my own writing for submission. In the so-called "real world" people have to follow specific directions and students need to start learning that lesson in my classroom.

Teaching students how to follow form is about three things: instruction, reinforcement, and repetition. They need to be taught the forms, they need to be corrected when they don't follow that form (and yes, that does mean taking off points for not following form), and they need to practice it over and over again. Several years ago, when I was working with one of my sisters directing the spring musical, she frequently complained that students didn't have the music down as soon as she wanted them too She couldn't understand why they didn't get it as quickly as she wanted them to get it. I understood. I had been teaching some of those same kids for two or three years and they still couldn't get MLA headers correct no matter how many times I corrected them. They needed to practice it over and over again.

Unfortunately today I had to use tough love with my classes. I don't like doing it but I know it is necessary. Hopefully they will forgive me eventually. And if they don't, the least I can hope for is a double-spaced paper with a correct header. Sometimes it's the small victories.

A Two Lesson Day

We had our very first discussion/debate in my AP classes today. Out current topic is language and today we were to discuss whether or not the United States needs to make English our official language. I honestly didn't think that it would be that hot of a topic. Nor did I believe that some of my students would have such strong feelings about the topic on either side of the issue. I was wrong. I have AP two periods a day so I get to learn from my first hour. And today I learned. I had a simple discussion with a couple videos and other items prepared. Instead I learned these two lessons:

• First, when the opportunity presents itself, change it up. First hour got so heated at times that I knew it was time to try something different with my fifth hour. I started fifth hour with a round robin debate. Four desks in the middle with the opportunity for classmates to tap in any time they had something to share. It gives a little order to the chaos, but I can't say there wasn't chaos. I feel bad that first hour missed out on the fun, but they will have other opportunities. Sometimes teaching is about being flexible, not only when things aren't going your way, but sometimes when things are going well. In this case, things were going better than anticipated and I needed to try something different to see if it would work. It worked, mostly, and now I know that it will definitely work when we get to more heated topics. I'm excited to keep trying this and I'm sure that future blog posts will explore this particular teaching method.
• Second, it really is important to let them have their own opinions. Inevitably they will ask for a teacher's opinion and near the end of the period they asked me. I wouldn't tell them, at least not clearly. There are teachers out there who feel it is their duty, their responsibility as teachers to tell their students exactly what they think. I disagree. My job is to teach my students HOW to think, how to research what they think, and then how to effectively express what they think in a clear, concise way for a wider audience. I don't want them to shut down because they are afraid that I will give them a lower grade because I don't agree with them and I don't want them to avoid discussing their thoughts in class because they are afraid that I will knock them down several pegs for having a different opinion. The key for me isn't necessarily to change their opinions because I think they are wrong but to teach them how to 1) be open minded enough to listen to what someone on the opposing side has to say and 2) be knowledgeable enough about their topic to intelligently defend their position against someone with an opposing view. I realize this isn't not the opinion of some, but it is mine.

Today started out rough with a two and four year old clearly ready for a weekend, but overall the day was good. It was a good week. I'm exhausted and ready to start grading after a two day reprieve of having nothing to grade, but it was a good week. Now to start planning upcoming units. But maybe first I'll attend a football game.

Sharing Their Language

Today's AP essay for discussion was Walt Whitman's "Slang in America." It's always fascinating to talk with students about slang: what's new, what's old, and to show them the evolutionary nature of the English language. Language is a living thing, and discussions about slang always bring that point home. It's usually fun, and sometimes a little dangerous, to have an open discussion about current slang. Today I learned all sorts of new words, which usually happens when we have that discussion.

Funny thing about that discussion, though. When they asked me what kids said "back in my day" (yeah, I tried really hard to let that slide) I couldn't remember. Language is so ingrained in us, it is such a part of who we are as people, that I just couldn't remember words that were considered slang when I was in high school.

Some days as a teacher we are lucky enough to plan lessons that serve the purpose of helping us connect with our students while teaching them both academic and life lessons. And we get to have fun doing it. Today was one of those days.

Does It Have To Be Books?

When I started teaching 11 years ago, I started with the mistaken idea that to teach students about reading and to turn them into readers I had to turn them into lovers of books. More specifically, I had to turn them into lovers of literature. Maybe this is because for years to be an English student meant to be a student of literature, the classics. And this definition has been slow to change. Thousands of middle school and high school teachers use YA literature in their classrooms, but people outside of the field look down on them, making the assumption that the teach YA literature is to dumb down what students read. Instead, the truth is that YA literature gives students character and situations to which they can relate and the very best teachers more often than not pair those YA novels with more complicated classic pieces of literature. A quick Google search of Common Core State Standards would lead any uninformed citizen to hundreds of articles and forums railing against the implementation of Common Core and the increased emphasis on reading non-fiction. Why? Because there are those who believe increasing non-fiction reading means an elimination of the classics. Instead, the truth is that good non-fiction can enhance student understanding of literature, showing them how those pieces relate to the real world.

The reality is that in the 21st century students need to be capable of critically reading everything and anything that is put in front of them and that means a redefinition of what it means to be a reader. I would love to see my students reading The Kite Runner, The Joy Luck Club, or To Kill a Mockingbird (just a few of my favorites) without my prompting, but I would be just as happy if I saw them willingly reading The World Is Flat by Thomas Friedman or The New Yorker. Why? Because it would mean that they were READING and it wouldn't be fluff (and my students read a lot of fluff). They would be reading quality writing that might actually teach them something and expand their horizons.

This point came home today in my American Literature classes when we were reading Sherman Alexie's essay "Superman and Me." I personally love having students read this piece about Alexie's early relationship with books and the influence it had on him as a young Indian boy. For my students it not only highlights the modern struggles of Native American Indians (our current unit being Native American myths) but it also highlights the more global importance of reading. While the short piece has many poignant quotes, the one most fitting to this conversation occurs immediately after he discusses how he both loved books and read books at every waking moment as a child. He goes beyond books stating, "I read the backs of cereal boxes. I read the newspaper. I read the bulletins posted on the walls of the school, the clinic, the tribal offices, the post office. I read junk mail. I read auto-repair manuals. I read magazines. I read anything that had words and paragraphs. I read with equal parts joy and desperation." Reading was his only way off of the Spokane Indian Reservation. He knew that. And he clearly understood that while he loved books, there was more to the world of reading than just books and fiction.

Yesterday I asked what is a reader. Today I answer that with anyone who reads anything and everything put in front of them. Readers read because they want to read. They want to be entertained. They want to be informed. They want to laugh. They want to cry. They want to feel connected to the world around them and they understand the power of words to create that connection. Perhaps if we teachers find a way to expand the definition of what it is to be a reader we will be able to figure out how to get our students to step out of their comfort zone and try something new. We will be able to show them that to read is to be both connected and informed. To be a reader of anything and everything throws open the doors on their world. And isn't that what we want for them?

What Is a Reader?

It all started when I reposted a picture I saw on Facebook:

One of my more astute friends noted that there are potentially skewed statistics here, and I have to admit that the teacher who focuses on rhetoric felt a little sheepish. I hope that these statistics are skewed, because if these are completely accurate, I have my work cut out for me.

For me the posting brings up two issues.

The first issue is the overall importance of reading. From the time I learned how to read in Kindergarten, I have been a reader. I have always loved reading. I married a reader who can rip through a book at least twice as fast as his English teacher wife. And I am doing everything I can to turn my kids into readers. My son and daughter love books. They love being read to, they sleep with beds full of books, my daughter will page through a book until she falls asleep and can't wait to learn to read on her own, and my son's bedtime mantra has become "one more book." I have spent my career looking for every and any way to get my high school students to read more and to do their assigned reading willingly. Reading expands horizons, challenges thought, increases vocabulary, and makes for a more intelligent and informed populace.

But the second issue really has to do with the interpretation of what constitutes reading. It is an issue that came up when I was taking a grad class on reading in composition classes. It was a class that opened my eyes and prepared me for teaching AP Language in ways that I didn't even know I needed to be prepared. During the class we read an article with survey statistics put out by the NEA that lamented the number of novels that people read as they grow further into adulthood. This led to a lengthy discussion with my classmates on what this meant for us as middle school, high school, and college teachers of literature and composition students. And one of the primary questions became "Is that really a bad thing?" Did the survey findings determine that people weren't reading at all, or did it just determine that they weren't reading books, novels, literature?

In the end we decided that people were reading, a lot, even if they weren't reading a lot of fiction. So maybe the English teacher shouldn't be shocked by the statistics in that post. Maybe it's time to find hope for the future of reading in other places. People are reading. They read articles online, articles in magazines, blog posts, tweets, and yes, they are reading books. Hardcover, paperback, and e-books. Maybe if we teachers just encouraged our students to read anything, to step out of their comfort zone and challenged them to read about things that interest them, maybe then we would be able to get them to open up to the new texts we put in front of them.

This is one of my campaigns this year: to get my students to read and to expand their definition (and mine) of what it means to be readers. Wish me luck!

Never Ahead, But Not Quite Behind

I start every year with the intention that this year I will be ahead. I still start the year with so much planned out that I will be well ahead for the first several weeks with no chance of getting so far behind that I will be drowned by the end of the quarter.

It never happens and it never fails that at some point during the quarter I will be so far behind that I will be drowning and swallowing back tears as I try to get everything done.

But right now I'm in a pretty sweet spot. I'm not ahead. My lessons are planned ahead, but I still have homework assignments from my AP classes to grade, a quiz to write, seating charts to rearrange for transfers in and out, and reading to do for two units from now. But it still isn't bad yet. All of that stuff is manageable and at this very moment I do not feel as if I am drowning. I guess that's for two weeks from now when all of my students have turned in projects and papers and I have to get started on grading them while maintaining the planning.

A teacher's work is never done and it is my curse as an English teacher intent on being good at my job that I will most likely spend the rest of my life until retirement always playing catch-up. At least right now I am still near the front of the pack. For the second week of school, I'll take it.

They Didn't Want To Pick?

Not all classes are the same. Of course, I knew this going into today, but some days highlight that important truth more than others.

You see, I allowed my American Literature classes to select their partners for their first project of the year. I don't typically do partner or group projects, but this particular project lends itself to collaboration and it shortens the number of presentations that we have to do. I had my students email me their partners to alleviate some stress and make it more of a first come, first served situation. This particular method of partner selection worked beautifully in two of my three classes. It failed in the last of my classes. I'm not sure why. Maybe there aren't that many friends in the class. Maybe they really don't know each other. Maybe they don't like each other. I'm just getting to know these students, so I can't truly analyze the reason for their failure to partner up.

So instead of depending on the simple method of partnering that I did with the other two classes I had to put together pairs of student who I am still getting to know. It takes me about two weeks to be able to easily put a face with a name (an advantage that elementary teachers have over high school is not having to learn the names of over 100 students), so suddenly partnering them took some quick thinking and praying that none of them were angry about who they ended up with.

I'm not sure what the lesson learned is. Maybe that there is no perfect partnering system. Whether I do it or they do it there will always be problems. Next time, I need a contingency plan. I guess you can never be too prepared.

Parents: Not As Bad As Advertised

As a young teacher, parents of students terrified me. I had seen first hand the damage that parents can cause in a toxic situation and I am not one who enjoys having people angry with me. And I have had my fair share of unpleasant run-ins with parents. I frequently see teacher friends who repost articles that discuss what parents need to know about teachers, things we want parents to remember, and we know all the types: Helicopter parents who need to know every little thing about their children, parents who go over my head to deal with a situation, parents completely detached from everything going on in my classroom, parents who don't contact me until AFTER their child fails my class, parents who never contact me even after their child fails my class. In eleven years I have had my fair share of conversations with parents. Some left me in tears, some left me shaking in anger, some left me storming down the hall to vent to colleagues, and some just wounded my pride.

But it's rare, very rare. For the most part I have found my parents to be supportive, cooperative and involved when they need to be. Some have even become friends of varying degrees as I have taught multiple children and gotten to know them outside of the classroom. Most of my parents have been my partners in educating their children as opposed to my adversaries. I have been blessed.

And tonight I met a new group of parents at Back To School Night. While I am just learning their kids' names, it is good to talk to them and tell them what they can do to help their children be successful. Entrusting your children to the care of someone else is scary. I think about that every day when I drop off my own children at their daycare, a place they love. I know that while they are there they are loved and learning while growing in their faith. But I need to know that this is happening every day when they are out of my care. And now that I am a parent I understand just how difficult it can be to trust other people to help my children grow into the people I want them to be. But these parents do trust me and are supporting me along the way.

Yeah, there are parents who make me want to participate in ill-advised social media rants, but I believe it is safe to say that as long as I am doing my job and doing it well, most parents have my back. Today I am going to choose to be thankful for them.

They'll Surprise Ya

And sometimes the surprise is good, and sometimes it is bad.

Today it was a good surprise. It all started last night when I saw a car full of teenagers drive slowly past our house. Please understand that I love teaching high school. I love teenagers. I believe they are great people with their whole future ahead of them. But let's be honest. They are impulsive and I wouldn't have been the first teacher to become a TP victim in the hours leading up to senior year. I also might be a little edgy because several years ago we were victimized by former students. I had a particular group with which I struggled for the whole school year. They undermined me in class, rarely did their homework, and were subversively difficult. The day after school got out got our house and truck with paintballs. Two other colleagues' homes had also been hit and we determined that one thing we all had in common was the same group of students, but we could never prove their responsibility. A few years after the incident another student from the class below confirmed my suspicions but by that point it would have caused more harm than good to open up old wounds and cut new ones.

But last night my fears were for naught. Our yard was clear and clean when I woke up this morning. Yeah, I felt a little bad for my suspicions. Again, do I believe I am immune to said behavior? Nope, but I'm glad that it was just my paranoia working overtime.

My second pleasant surprise came from my new AP students. Last year was rough for them. For lack of a better term, the year was inconsistent and we all have our different concerns. I am fully confident in my ability to teach these budding scholars. I am also fully confident in their abilities. But that doesn't change the fact that I am a little nervous about our outcomes this year and they are nervous about just surviving the road map I gave them in class. I went into today with no idea how much intellectual sandpaper I was going to need to smooth and shape these young minds into effective writers able to recognize the rhetoric in the world around them. I left school feeling a lot better.

You see, a major component of AP Language is a focus on good reading skills, something that will take too long to explain at this moment, but it is something that is difficult to teach to students when they are already reading below the level that you need them to be at. Their summer reading assignment was to pick a book off of a list that I gave them and turn in an annotated copy of the book as soon as they arrived in class today.

One class into grading them and I am amazed. Some did the minimum 60 and were good with that, an approach that doesn't bother me at all. I don't even think it speaks to their character as students. It wasn't a short cut. They did what was required of them for a summer reading assignment.

But others went beyond. They didn't just do 60 annotations. They wrote and questioned and highlighted and connected throughout the whole text. They showed me that they are READERS and that is what they need to be if they are going to be successful this year. Was I surprised? Honestly, yes. I was surprised, but it was a surprise that gave me hope for the year.

The first day went well. I really do love the first day of a new year. And tomorrow I meet the parents. Good luck to me!

Classroom Is Ready

I am not an elementary school teacher. I was not blessed with the spacial sensibilities that allow elementary teachers to put together beautiful and creative bulletin boards multiple times a year. I teach high school where creatively decorated rooms are considered a bonus. My goal every year has been to gradually add more posters and personal items that encourage, inspire, and educate my students while also displaying my own personality. I started my first year with a meager set of posters. Some were a graduation gift from my academic adviser. I had a Star Wars:Episode 1 poster from my sisters. I love that poster. It not only truly displays my nerdiness but it is also a literal example of foreshadowing: A young Anakin Skywalker with the shadow of Darth Vader in the background. And finally I bought a couple posters with what little money I had left from my first paycheck.

Over the years I have bought a lot of items for the walls in my classroom. This year I finally feel like I have reached my quota of posters and wall paraphernalia. By the time I left my classroom after new student orientation today my room was pretty much exactly as I want it. It displays my personality, my likes, and has enough motivational posters to keep my students in high spirits all year long (that is if they actually look at the walls surrounding them). Here is my room. I'm pretty proud of it. It's ready for learning and I am ready to teach. Bring it on!

Introduction

When I was in my education classes in college, one of my professors suggested that a good way to deal with the difficulties of the first couple years of teaching was to keep a journal or diary of our experiences. At the time I thought it was a great idea. Then reality hit. In my first teaching position I only had 80 some students, but I was responsible for teaching all four levels of English and in my second year I also adopted drama program responsibilities. Oh yeah, and I was a newlywed with a husband who was frequently frustrated by my mental and physical absences. When did I have time to write about my experiences?

But I wish I had. I wish I had recorded the difficulties, triumphs, failures, tears, joys, every up and down of those first years. They were years that formed the teacher that I am today, but I believe that I would have really benefited from constant reflection on what I was doing and what was working and what wasn't. And I wish that I had those reflections for me to look at eleven years later to see just how far I have come as a teacher.

Hence the reason for this new blog. For those of you who follow my personal blog (found here), I will not stop writing there. Instead, that will continue to be my personal blog in which I hope to continue writing on a regular basis. This blog is my daily experiment. The ultimate goal? To write daily (180 days) about the triumphs of teaching. Are there failures? Absolutely. But my goal here is to focus on the positive. I want to focus on the lessons that I learn every day from my students, my colleagues, and my own experiences. Some days I'm sure I will write a lot more than others. Some days I may be tempted to rant and give in. But ultimately I want this to be about the good stuff.

So to my teacher friends: Enjoy! Let this be a chance for you to see that you are not alone. Share your similar stories. When it seems like there isn't a positive to a situation, offer a positive angle. To my non-teacher friends: If you really are interested in what I have to say, awesome. I welcome you into my classroom.

And now to Day 1. Let the experiment begin...